So I had an interesting conversation the other day. I ran into a woman that I used to work with and the following convo unfolded:
Her: Hi! How are you?
Me: Very good.
Her: (Grabbing my left hand) Are you married?
Me: (Somewhat awkwardly taking my hand back) No
Her: Girl, What is wrong with you?!
...
How am I suppose to answer that question? I mean, she was smiling when she said it, but the fact that she said it shocked me more than anything.I know that she did not mean anything offensive by it, because I trust this person's heart, but I also realize that for her generation a 27 year old woman who is not married, is rare. I dismissed the conversation and went on with my evening, but found myself coming back to that comment over and over again..."What is wrong with you?" I was shocked, then offended, then left wondering if there was indeed something wrong with me. Now, I consider myself to be fairly logical and consider all sides of a matter, so I like I said, I assured myself that the reason for the comment was generational, cultural and said in innocence, but it certainly left me with lots to think about.
Well, after lots of wrestling with this comment, here is where I landed:
Is there something wrong with me? No more so than there is with anyone else!
Do I want to me married? Absolutely. But I want to marry for the right reasons and not just because everyone else is or it is "culturally" time for me to do so.
Am I too picky? I don't think I am TOO picky, but I certainly have things that I am looking for in a spouse and some of those are not negotiable.
Do I want children (since "time seems to be of the essence")? More than anything. My heart yearns for this. But I want to be fully prepared to bring little ones into the world and parent them in a way that is pleasing to the Lord and equips them with the tools to be individuals of character.
Am I less of a woman/person because I am not yet a wife or mother? To say I haven't struggled with this issue, would be a lie. But I believe there is so much more to a person than if they have a ring on their finger or someone that calls them Mom. I have worth in my Creator. I have things to offer society and will choose not to be defined by my marital status...whatever that may be.
There you have it. It may not make sense...but thats where I am...at this point anyway.
5 comments:
You are phenomenally beautiful: on the outside, but maybe even more so (if that's possible!) on the inside. Love you and love this honesty and this insight. Hug.
Heart- Cheris
Aww..Thank you Cheris, that is very sweet and you are making me blush :)
You are beautiful and special and there is nothing wrong with you, of course. Also, you NEED to be picky about your spouse, you don't want to settle for the next 60 years! I love you. Thanks you for sharing this.
You kick ass.
Whaaat? How did I not know you had a blog? I am devoted now...but don't be scared. I love your tender, transparent post. I remember these very same emotions and I will pray, sister. Wholeheartedly agree with ahuva! Now I gotta go read some more! Many blessings!
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